Intercept jokes

What do maths and 9/11 have in common?

They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.

When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.

You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.

I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

I got detention for giving an emo kid a happy meal.

How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.

Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.

Update: I got banned from BIGO Live.

A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...