Car jokes
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?
A Juanda.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
What's the difference between a pile of 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
A Mustang Challenger doesn't exist.
One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
When is a car not a car?
When it's a house.
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a red Ferrari in my car.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.