Car jokes
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
Potato.
Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?
A: She hit an ambulance.
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?
A Juanda.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
What's the difference between a pile of 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
A Mustang Challenger doesn't exist.