Car jokes
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
Are you a race car?
Cuz I’m tryna fuck.
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
Why did the car drive over the cake?
'Cause it was in tiers!! Lol, sorry this ain't funny.
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
Are you lightning?
Because you're McQueen.
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
The streets go blank in the dead of the day, not a car to be seen.
A kingdom of corona-cation, and it looks like mom's the queen.
The wind is howling with this virus in the air.
Couldn't keep it in China, everyone knows it's everywhere.
Don't let friends in, don't be afraid.
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal, don't feel your insanity, that the virus caused!
Don't let it go! Don't let it go! You have to hold it back a little more! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Turn away and slam your doors!
I don't care what the government says! Let me go to my friend's house.
Sickness doesn't get to me anyway.
It's funny how some distance makes everyone insane, and the fears that once controlled me are here and present, oh well!
It's time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through!
No right, no wrong, but stay inside!
WE'RE NOT FREE!!
Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Be one with the peace inside!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Watch sad movies and cry!! Here I stand!! And here I'll stay!! 'Cause I have nothing better to do.
The virus flurries through the air into my house!
The storm is spiraling, fear and fractals all around!!
And one thought makes you wanna scream and shout out loud!!
What if we never go back? What if the past is in the past????
DON'T LET IT GO DON'T LET IT GO!! And you'll rise at the break of noon! DON'T LET IT GO DON'T LET IT GO!! That's morning girl is gone!! HERE I STAND IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT 'CAUSE THAT'S WHEN I WOKE UP!! Let the virus rage on!!!!!! The sickness never gets to me anyway. DING.
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.