Car jokes
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
The USA guaranteeing freedom of speech is the biggest joke I've heard... Tell that to the people who were almost killed because their cars had "NASCAR Sucks" and "Country and Western is rubbish" on them!
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
Why did the rapper take the bus to the studio?
Because their car ran out of RHYME.
What's a rapper's favorite type of car?
A Rhyme Rover.
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
Why did the rapper go to the auto shop?
To get his RHYMES in TUNE.
Rapboat steals more rhymes than black people steal cars.
What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?
"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.