Car jokes
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.
“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”
“From my father,” said Johnny.
“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
What is a pirate's favorite ride? A carrr!
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
Paul's favorite car.
A Carrera GT.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
What color is your Bugatti?
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.