Car jokes
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
Paul's favorite car.
A Carrera GT.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
What color is your Bugatti?
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.