Can jokes

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?

So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.

What did the cops say when someone called him racist?

"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."

I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.

How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?

What do you call a group of emos?

Suicide Squad.

Orphans are like a trash can; they live outside.

Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this? I need to talk to you guys.

What did one butt cheek say to the other?

"Together we can stop this shit."

As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.

I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.

One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"

A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.

Why can you bully orphans?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.

In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?

Because Flash is not supported on Windows.

Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!

When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.

It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.

How many people can you fit in a car?

6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.

I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣