Can jokes
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute, you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00. If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also Polish, you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. And if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is Canadian and Polish with blond hair, you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. But if you wanted to fuck him up the ass, he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of Crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at an adult book store.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, Daddy came in with the lady next door, and they started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off Daddy’s clothes, and Daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of Daddy and started...”.
The mother cuts him off and says, “Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” A couple hours later, the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face, shouting, “I’m leaving you... Go ahead, Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door, and you both started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off your clothes, and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing Mom did with Uncle Joe last summer.”
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
Orphans are like a trash can; they live outside.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?
Because Flash is not supported on Windows.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.