Can

Can jokes

Car

How many people can you fit in a car?

6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.

Orphan

Why can orphans never go to the shops?

'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.

Water

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?

Ranga

What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?

A Brick can get laid.

Memes

Orphan

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

Word

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"

Kid

What can jump higher than a basketball player?

An emo kid, they never touch the ground.

Lap

You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!

Pub

Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.

You can't drink alcohol or dance.

Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.

Wheelchair

What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

Elbow

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

Sex

What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?

You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.

Sprite

My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.

Mama

Yo mama so ugly,

they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.

Sex

Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

Margarine

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

Racist

What did the cops say when someone called him racist?

"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."