Can jokes
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
Orphans are like a trash can; they live outside.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
Yo mama so ugly,
they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.