Can jokes
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Why tie when you can knot?
Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"
If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.
Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?
Because she can listen to call music.
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."