Can jokes
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
Hey Gwen come on let's chat! We can forget about that dumb bitch "prince" and focus on us!
Can you believe they're still together after everything they've been through?
Who you might ask...
YOUR ASS CHEEKS!
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.
So it can cut itself.
"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"
"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."
"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."
when u look like this but your the only one it the group that can pull bitches but u straight
A man can form Jupiter girls came from Venus, and other genders came right from Uranus.
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?
B minor.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.
Why do Catholic Irishmen in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saint Patrick's Day?
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!