Can jokes

What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?

They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.

Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"

Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"

Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*

Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"

Lady: "Let me do that."

Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"

Q: Get up for a chair joke!

A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

In other words you can also call it asphalt.

Ass-phalt.

What can you catch but not throw?

A cold!

My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.

She's not the only one who can play that game.

"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!

Which one do you want to watch? 😀"

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

Why can orphans go to Thacker Jewelry?

They love to see the whole family.

-->[] go through the door if you can.

Son: Mom, can I tell you something?

Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?

Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!

Mom: Well, I made you.

I see 6 letters in "the past."

I have 2020 vision.

I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.

A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.

Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.

Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.

What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?

"Can you give me some pointers?"

Do you have a halo?

'Cause I can give it to you.

I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?

A cloud.

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

How can you help a llama on holiday?

Alpaca your bags.