Can

Can jokes

Burger

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

Soldier

Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.

Gwen

I'm so confused. Who is Gwen? The only Gwen I can think of is the one from Spiderman. 😂

Memes

Pokémon

How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a Golbat.

Internet

Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.

Mama

Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.

Orphan

Why can orphans get away from the FBI?

Because they don't have a house.

Animal

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

Midnight

It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.

Dog

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Ken.

Ken who?

Can you walk the dog for me?

Opinion

Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.

Man

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

Orphan

Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?

Because they can actually buy a house.

Kid

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

People

Where can white people cook better than Black people?

On Father’s Day.

People

Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.

For instance, when you push them down the stairs.