Can jokes
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
Where can white people cook better than Black people?
On Father’s Day.
Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.
What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.