Can jokes

Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.

Mom: OMG, why son?

Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.

Think about it, then spread LMAO.

How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a Golbat.

It was 5:00 PM and I asked my sibling: "Can I have something to eat?"

He replied: "No, not until you tell me the alphabet."

So I said: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, U, V, W, X, Y, Z."

Then my sibling asked me: "Where's the T?"

I replied: "It's in the microwave, you just need to dish it up."

🤔 What do gay men who are physically handicapped ♿ can do better than a man who is heteroflexible when 🤔 he has another man's 😍 😋 😜 😏 😳 😉 cock inside 😋 of his warm mouth 👄 👄 give a 👍 👍 good blowjob?

There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.

Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.

What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?

A pool table.

Every bad joke can become a good joke with a good delivery, but abortion jokes, they have no delivery.

Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.

I wonder where the bodies are?

A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."

The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"

"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"

"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."

"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"

I'm so confused. Who is Gwen? The only Gwen I can think of is the one from Spiderman. 😂

Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"

Mister: No, you shit head.

Boy: Why? :(

Mister: Because I'm not your dad.

"Can we do 69?"

"How about we do 9/11 since we will crash together?"

What do you call a white guy who can actually dance? Jewish.

Hi guys! In my opinion, I think your jokes are non-funny! Can you make more sense!

Btw, who writes jokes about orphans? Thanks for understanding!

Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.