Can jokes
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.
Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.
Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?
Always!
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean, hey, my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
What place can you always find suicidal cows at?
"McDonald's."
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.