Can jokes

Hey, can you hold this for a second?

Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!

I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.

Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?

Why?

So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.

My hips can't move, but Heineken.

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?

Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"

can someone please tell what happened?

What do black parents and elevators have in common?

Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.

What is a nut that does magic?

A human that can turn into a nut!

What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"

How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.

"Gwen, can we talk..."

How many guns can an octopus hold?

9

Bitch, I can make orange rhyme with banana. BORNANA.

Eating pork rinds, sword fightin' in pajamas at the crib playin' Fortnite with your grandma.

Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?

Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.

What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?

"Damn, that's really stiff!"

What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

I can make a word with those: "DICK".

Trump can get banned. The cops can tack him to jail, and Trump go go go go bye bye for good. Trump is meing.

Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?

So they can call someone "daddy."