Can

Can jokes

Homework

    • My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.

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    • Tree

    • Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"

    Friend #2: "Apples"

    Me: "I can hang myself in them."

    Orphan

    • I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk. (Goes to the store, grabs milk.) As I grab the milk, I thought, "Hey, I bet I can repeat her life twice."

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    • Job loss

    • A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...

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    • Can memes

    Orphan

    • I don't get it.

    Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

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    • Man

    • An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."

    The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"

    "Nein," said the old man.

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    • Rule

    • I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

    Here are some rules to make a good joke:

    1: Don't say “my life.”

    2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

    3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

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    • Cigarette

    • What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?

    They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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    • Ass

    • If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.

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