Can

Can jokes

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Kamikaze

    • What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?

    "Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."

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    • Tree

    • Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"

    Friend #2: "Apples"

    Me: "I can hang myself in them."

    Orphan

    • I don't get it.

    Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

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    Can memes

    Green Card

    • An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

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    Man

    • An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."

    The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"

    "Nein," said the old man.

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    Rule

    • I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

    Here are some rules to make a good joke:

    1: Don't say “my life.”

    2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

    3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

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    • Cigarette

    • What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?

    They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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    • Rape

    • What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.

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    Ass

    • If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.

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