Can

Can jokes

Add joke

An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"

Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"

Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?

Experience.

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”

Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.

How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?

There is sperm on the screen.

China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat.

  • 9

    • Why are feminists always against men?

    Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.

    Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?

    because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.

    "Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a computer screen, and then they can see the government has to get Chili's."

    A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.

    Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

    David: I will surpass Kakarot!

    Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

    Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.

    Doc: Can I help you?

    Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.

    Doc: When did it begin?

    Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).

    Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...

    Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.

    Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?

    Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.

    Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?

    Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

    Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"

    Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."

    Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"

    Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"

    Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."

    Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"

    Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."

    Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"

    Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"

    Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."

    Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"

    Dear Hearing People,

    We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.

    Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.