Came jokes

Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.

Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.

Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?

Because his dad never came back with the milk.

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.

The mailman came to drop the mail off.

Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.

Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."

My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

So all his friends came in one car.

Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"

Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...

"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"

I suppose that was a fair compromise!

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?

Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find the first base they came from.

When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.