Came jokes

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.

Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.

Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher: What?

Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

Teacher: Why water?

Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."

Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.

Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Ken came in another box.

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.

Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."

My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

So all his friends came in one car.

Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"

Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...

"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"

I suppose that was a fair compromise!

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?

Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.

When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find the first base they came from.