Came Jokes

Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

One day I came home from school and said to my dad 'I got expelled from school today' he said ' how' I said I threw my book at the teacher' he asked why' I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can't hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. '

A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.

I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said "i am still choosing" she looked horrified

Ya ever think about the twin towers plan? Me neither. It all came crashing down.

Sucks Stephen Hawking died so soon, the new Intel update just came out.

How to tell if your depressed? You came to a website called worst jokes ever . com looking for a quick smile.

What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time, no sea.

The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.

i have a stepladder. my real ladder left for milk and never came back.

Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest?

They both came in a little behind.

I just found out I'm colorblind. It came out of the yellow.

I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

I had recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.

We found out that she died............... from an autopsy

I was working in a IPhone store in Norwich, when an man came! He said "Give me hat-trick or i will destroy your store!" I said "No" and he started to smash phones! I imidiatelly screamed "Important game" and he disappeared! Shame on you penaldo for ruining my store! 😡😡