Me: My gf broke up with me yesterday and I had her wheel chair
Me: guess who came crawling right back
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: Bro, you still got my Nikes? Boy 2: Ye, sorry. I got em dirty. Boy 1: Please clean them, we have school tomorrow.
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme"
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?".
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends I milk a cow and it took awhile for it to warm up and his brother came over and said we don't have cows we have Bulls
Kid. What is an orphans favorite breakfast? Teacher. What? Kid. Fruity pebbles with water Teacher. Why water? Kid. Cause it's dad never came back with the milk
3 men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live, only if they could achieve one thing. They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each. The first person returned with apples, the leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1....2 he screamed. The next person came back with grapes, 1,2,3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing, he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well, "well i saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples"
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dived to save it, he said he always dives for pens.
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
When my dad left he said he would bring back the milk but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him and he said "I used all the milk to make your sister"
The reason why people are short is because their dad never came back with the milk.
A man was mowing his lawn when blue and reg stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.
I came home from school One day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks so I did except I kicked him out him and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
I came here to laugh
Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
So the other day i saw a child in a wheelchair
he was getting bullied alot so i came up
And said why dont you stand up to those bullies
joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops
