Call jokes
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
If my firnd had a baby like this id call him ✨ "retard" ✨
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.
Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.
Mom: Well, it’s my house.
Little Johnny: Then go clean it.
Mom: Go to school!
At school:
Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.
Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.
Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!
What do you call a bunch of people near each other?
The start of the Hollacoast.
What time do you call me tomorrow?
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."
Vortex: "You'll do what?"
Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"
*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*
Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
What do you call a notorious special needs student with an extra chromosome?
The double trouble.
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.