Call jokes
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!
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What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
Memes
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?
Impossible!
What do you call a Black person going down a waterslide? Sewage.
Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?
Friends: No, what is it?
Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.