Call jokes
What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?
A speech impediment.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.
What do you call an orange parrot? A carrot!
Chocolate rain. Some stay dry and others feel the pain. Chocolate rain. A baby born will die before the sin. Chocolate rain. The school books say it can't be here again. Chocolate rain. The prisons make you wonder where it went. Chocolate rain. Build a tent and say the world is dry. Chocolate rain. Zoom the camera out and see the lie. Chocolate rain. Forecast to be falling yesterday. Chocolate rain. Only in the past is what they say. Chocolate rain. Raised your neighborhood insurance rates. Chocolate rain. Makes us happy 'livin in a gate. Chocolate rain. Made me cross the street the other day. Chocolate rain. Made you turn your head the other way. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. Seldom mentioned on the radio. Chocolate rain. It's the fear your leaders call control. Chocolate rain. Worse than swearing worse than calling names. Chocolate rain. Say it publicly and you're insane. Chocolate rain. No one wants to hear about it now. Chocolate rain. Wish real hard it goes away somehow. Chocolate rain. Makes the best of friends begin to fight. Chocolate rain. But did they know each other in the light? Chocolate rain. Every February washed away. Chocolate rain. Stays behind as colors celebrate. Chocolate rain. The same crime has a higher price to pay. Chocolate rain. The judge and jury swear it's not the face. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. Dirty secrets of economy. Chocolate rain. Turns that body into GDP. Chocolate rain. The bell curve blames the baby's DNA. Chocolate rain. But test scores are how much the parents make. Chocolate rain. Flippin' cars in France the other night. Chocolate rain. Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai. Chocolate rain. 'Cross the world and back it's all the same. Chocolate rain. Angels cry and shake their heads in shame. Chocolate rain. Lifts the ark of paradise in sin. Chocolate rain. Which part do you think you're livin' in? Chocolate rain. More than marchin', more than passing law. Chocolate rain. Remake how we got to where we are. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again.
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES winter sports?
Ice Cube.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
What do you call a hungry person?
African.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.