Call jokes

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?

Posiedown.

When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.

But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.

I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."

Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?

It's called "One More Thyme."

What do you call a paralyzed turtle?

Shell shocked.

Why can't orphans have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy".

I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"

What do you call a dead baby?

Spawn killed.

What do you call a Chinese billionaire?

Cha Ching.

What do you call a funny cow?

A cowmedian.

What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?

A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).

The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"

A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,

"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"

What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?

A chicken tender.

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?

steamed vegetables.

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.

How'd she burn the other side? They called back.

What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!

What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?

An Amish Mechanic.

If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.