Call jokes
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
My girlfriend called me pedophile today.
Big word for a 12-year-old.
what do you call a flat road named after George Floyd?
Flat neck road.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.
The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"
The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"
The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."
Memes
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
What do you call a funny cow?
A cowmedian.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).