Call jokes
What do you call an orphan? No home-o.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.
Memes
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call a Pirate Pokemon?
Arrrrrr-ceus!
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
Call me an elevator, because I let people down.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.