Call jokes

What do you call a feminist with a rape whistle? Delusional and optimistic.

What do you call a racist crow?

Jim.

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"

Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"

Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."

What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?

Kill their parents.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"

What do you call an Indian lesbian?

Mingeeta.

I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.

I replied I'd get ink poisoning.

Wouldn't recommend, the police came.

Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.

What do you call an orphan? No home-o.

Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."

You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

What do you call a boy Panera Bread?

Panera Balls.

Call me an elevator, because I let people down.

What do you call depressed coffee?

Despresso ;)

I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.

Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?

So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.

They burst into tears.

I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfie.