Call jokes
Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?
Because it's male bonding.
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".