Call jokes
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.
Guy: Oh, what is it?
J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.
Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?
Panera Med.
So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called "Straight Out of Windshield."
Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...
His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!
What do you call purple when it's being mean? Violent.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.
When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.
You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow! What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
What do you call J Cow's new hit? Deja Moo!
What do you call an orphan that sings a solo?
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!