Call jokes
What do you call someone with no legs?
Disabled.
What do you call a un-funny rock?
A normal rock.
What do you call a Mexican rooster?
Un gallo pelón.
What do you call a deaf child?
-Ryan Simmonite-
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.
What do you call a person who smokes?
Smokey the Bear.
This is nothing to do with 9/11, but this is my best joke.
What do you call a Paki in a microwave?
Pting pting pting.
Good news! There's a new program to help autistic people. It's called Action T-4.
What do you call a shitty movie? One that fucking sucks and shits.
What do you call a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck.
What do you call an animal underground? A fossil.
So one time I had a dream where I was on a road trip and we drove a golf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan.
We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom, which was so weird!
What is the difference between Dray Dray and an overrated footballer called Pogba?
What is a disabled man called?
"Woman." Haha.
What do you call a website that openly encourages racist posts?
My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD
What's Stephen Hawking's wife called? Wendy.
A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.
When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"
For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."