Call jokes
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
What do you call a once that's an insect?
A creepy crawly.
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.
Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.
What do you call a potato with a pp?
A dictator.
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
What do you call a binder with no rings?
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
What do you call a door that's a man? A door, man.
What do you call useless skin on a penis?
A man.
What do you call a dwarf?
Adrian!
Why do orphans not play Call of Duty?
Because they have to land at houses.
What do you call a stupid meme and a Mexican fighting? Juan on Juan.
If someone called you ugly, say before you call me ugly, look in a mirror.
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
What do you call cringe?
You.