Call jokes
What do you call a thicc boy... big boi?
Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.
So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."
Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."
And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."
I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
Grandma: calls You: Hello Grandma, what are you doing? Why, you can't mean I'm right in the house right now? Grandma: I didn't mean to call you, bye.
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.
Superman has been called to a huge house fire.
Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"
Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"
Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
What do you call a 18+ animal jam?
Play Wild!
What do you call an ear that's dead? Deaf. Hahaha! Oh wait...
What do you call a male ladybug?
Trans.
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.
Want to hear a joke? It's called life.
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.