Mom! Mom! The class called me an orphan.
Call Jokes
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.
What do you call Aston?
Asston.
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Why aren't orphans gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth picks.
So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
Your forehead is so big they call you the Leaning Tower of Forehead!
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100100 01101111 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100010 01111001 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01110000 01110101 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101001 01110100 01110011 00100000 01100110 01100001 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 00111111 00100000 01000100 01100001 01110100 01100001 00101110
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."
Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy!
Have you ever heard about the new virus in China? It's called Hupun.
Hupun DEEZ NUTS!
My grandpa said I was too reliant on technology when he saw me on my phone. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
An old man gets a call from the IRS.
The man on the phone says, “We’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly, and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.
The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office, and the man there says, ”So we’ve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Can you explain this?” The man replies, ”Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Like this! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye.” The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. He then says, ”Wait. I’ll give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye.” The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isn’t blind, takes the bet. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He then says, ”Alright, last chance. I bet you 50,000 I can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between.” The agent thinks real hard but decides it’s impossible, so takes the bet. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agent’s desk. The agent jumps up and down and says, “Haha! I got you now!” But the man's lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands, and says, “He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and you’d just love it!”
What did mum say when grandpa called?
Boomerang.
