Wake-up Call jokes

What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?

"Log in."

In Ukraine, there was a massive wake-up call by Russia. But for some, the results were the opposite.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

Poker Face.

I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.

Guys to wind the clock up?

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

What time is it when you say, "Wake up?"

It is morning.

Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!

1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.

Mom: Wake up!

Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...

Mom: Why are you disappointed?

Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...