Why do orphans only have 354 days?
'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.
Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.
Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.
Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"
The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"
And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"
The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"
Johnny replied with, "OK."
Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"
Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They don’t have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they miss Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have a “mother’s” or “father’s” day!
There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.
Why can’t orphans drink? Because they don’t have any money.
Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. What the fuck? Saturday.
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
Can February march?
No, but April may.
Orphans only have 363 days because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day.
