But jokes

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."

Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.

I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.

I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."

She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."

"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."

I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.

If you know, you know. 😏😏

"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfie.

But wait, what family? He never had one.

My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

What do boobs and toys have in common?

They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.

I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.

When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)

I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.

I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.

My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.

Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.

You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?