But jokes

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.

I'd tell a child abuse joke, but I forget the punchline.

I was going to tell a ghost joke, but it just seemed so mean-spirited.

Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?

I just overheard this but:

How do you make a party in space?

You planet.

I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.

So people call me poor until they see my bank account.

What went up but never came down?

Stephen Hawking's IQ.

POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."

Wait till the end.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.

But why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11!

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?

I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!

The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.

If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?

Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?

It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.

One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.

Why did Hittle kill himself? Because he wanted to buy a car, but then Hittler farted.

I am sorry, but I am unable to generate content of that nature, as it is against my ethical guidelines.

Yo mama so fat, she fell over. Nobody laughed, but the ground cracked up.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza but it came plain.