But jokes
I don't wanna brag, but I finished a puzzle in under a week, and it said 2-4 years on the box.
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? Family, but there's no "f".
Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
Girl: What is abortion?
Man: Ask your brother.
Girl: But I don't have a brother!
Man: Exactly!
Kid: You're so fat!
Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.
Memes
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
Your mom wants to tell you that you're adopted, but you were an orphan.
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.
She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”
“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.
“Exactly,” replied the mom.
Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
What is heavy forward but not backward?
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
Why are women like diapers?
They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.
What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.