But jokes

What goes up but never comes down?

Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.

I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Why were the Twin Towers so mad?

They ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.

Lol, the Twin Towers ordered a drop in from Pizza Hut, but instead they got a hot and ready from Jet's.

I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.

Daddy, good morning, please, I want too, but Davido's second-hand towel is 2.5 million.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

'Cause 7 8 9.

But why did 7 eat 9?

'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D

What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?

"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"

When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.

And then Mark came in.

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

I tried to have phone sex once.

But the holes were too small.

An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.