But jokes

Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?

Yeah, it's called RobberBand.

Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.

He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.

Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?

Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."

But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"

This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.

I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.

One man walked into a bar. A second man walked into a bar, but the third guy ducked.

I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.

This is supposed to be worst puns but most of them are not puns.

I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.

So you know "The Lion King."

Do you remember Simba?

Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.

So I told him to Mufasa.

They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.

I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?

What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...

But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!

Roses are red, violets are blue, Polo G is the goat, but that means nothing to you.

About to go on a date.

But she was late.

So I got some tape.

And eventually punished her with rape.

My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.

In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.

A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.

But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?