But jokes

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.

I used to hate facial hair,

but then it grew on me.

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?

A vowel movement.

I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.

High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣

All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.

I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.

Two antennas met on a roof and got married.

The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.

Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.

Yesterday I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home.

The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick... she still isn't talking to me.

You’re so fat,

that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.

Does it cycle now? 🚲

Why can't orphans buy chips?

Because they're family sized!

You think you guys are funny, but look at your hairline. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol. 😂😂😂😂😭😭💀🤨🍆💦👶🏻😈😈😈😈😈😂😂😂😂😂😂👍😳😳😳😭😭😭😭😭😭🤨

I would tell a clock joke, but I don't have time.

I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."