But jokes

I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.

Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?

Doctor: To the morgue.

Man: But I’m not dead yet.

Doctor: Are we there yet?

Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.

The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."

There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)

I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.

Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.

Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but it eventually came back to me.

What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?

Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"

I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.

I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.

"And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,' but John came fifth and got a toaster."

A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."

The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"

The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."