But jokes
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.
Memes
This orphan showed me a family photo.
But it was just a selfie.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.
But no pun in ten did.
What goes in hard but comes out soft?
Gum.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.