But jokes

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.

I was about to change my password to Fire-Fist Ace... but apparently it was too weak.

The F in "I'm orphan" stands for family.

But there is no F.

You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme, but you can hear a hormone.

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

What's yellow but can't swim?

A bus full of children.

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.

I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.

But no pun in ten did.

They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!

Have you heard about the new cereal?

It's called "Prostituties."

They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!

Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...

I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?

Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...

But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.

Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?

Bubbles:...

Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.

Alabama: 😈