But jokes

Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.

This orphan showed me a family photo.

But it was just a selfie.

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

I was about to change my password to Fire-Fist Ace... but apparently it was too weak.

One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.

The F in "I'm orphan" stands for family.

But there is no F.

You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.

Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

I was gonna tell a memory loss joke, but I forgot it.

Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

Dad: How?

Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

Dad: Stupid.

What's the difference between a bird and a fly?

A. A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.

Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.

Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.

Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

What's yellow but can't swim?

A bus full of children.

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.