But jokes

One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.

People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.

I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.

But it would just crash and burn.

I could tell a joke right now, but it's too dark.

"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."

- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*

The Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars, but instead got Dominos.

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

Why were the Twin Towers angry?

Because they ordered pepperoni, but they only got plane!

My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

What happened?

Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.

I wanted to make a joke about clocks, but I got no time for that.

There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.