But jokes

I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

What happened?

Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,

But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

Why were the Twin Towers angry?

Because they ordered pepperoni, but they only got plane!

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.

But it would just crash and burn.

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.

What has hands but can’t clap?

A thalidomide baby.

A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.

What goes down but not up?

An emo.

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.

Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.

Yo mama so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.