Business jokes
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
"A satisfactory."
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy? BK doesn’t sell real meat.
Me always :
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?
It comes with no strings attached.
ASDA.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
Dying mall be like...
"Toys" were us.
Goodbye, kitty.
Dying Canes.
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.
Why don't Pakis play football? Every time they get a corner, they build a shop.
We gotta work ahead, people!
Why was the duck arrested?
Because it was caught selling quack.
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.
Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
Why can’t you sell nans, but you can sell zebras?