Business jokes
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!
I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.
They knew what they were doing
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
Your birth certificate is a complaint to the condom factory.
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.
Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.
The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.
That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
Joke: Why did the gym close down?
– It just didn’t work out.
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.