Business jokes
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!
Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.
All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
Life's stupid
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
What do you call an angry Panera Bread?
Panera slapped!
Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they're too busy stealing all the green cards.
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
Why can't orphans open a family business?
Because there is no family.
History is mostly just a list of things men did while women were busy making sure they didn't die of scurvy.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."
What’s long and black?
The line at KFC.