Business jokes

Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?

A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.

If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?

Why did KFC take orphan?

Because kids fattening center.

Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.

It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.

What store can an orphan never find?

Home Depot.

Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?

A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)

What do strippers and butter have in common?

Both spread for bread.

Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.

So I sold them.

Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.

This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?

No Panera Bread.

What's an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.

An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.

Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.

Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?

Cause it’s a family business.

I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?

One's a busy ditch.

How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?

Because it's a family company.

I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.

What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?

The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!

A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"

The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."

The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."

The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."

"I am. But the steaks are too high."