Business jokes
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.
The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.
That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
Joke: Why did the gym close down?
– It just didn’t work out.
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?
A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
They knew what they were doing
If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
What store can an orphan never find?
Home Depot.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
What's an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.
Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.