Business jokes
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.
Memes
They knew what they were doing
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?
He puts his PJ-Amazon!
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?
It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory!
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.