Business jokes
Have you heard of Wendy's?
Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
Why was the duck arrested?
Because it was caught selling quack.
Why did a Mexican go to Home Depot?
Because he thought it said "Home Deport."
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"
I work at a movie studio.
Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.
The team:
Ads? More like bads.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
Why can't orphans go to Costco?
Because it's a family shop.
Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to his job at KFC!
Your hairline is so wonky that it looks like the McDonald’s sign.