Business jokes
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
The toughest job I ever had was when I was selling doors, door-to-door.
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
What's a chairmaker's favorite flavor?
Chair-y.
Memes
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to make dough from his beats.
Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?
He didn't have a good counter act!
Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?
They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!
Your hairline is so bad it was used as the Starbucks logo!
Scammers got relegated! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I have a rooster farm because I love small cocks.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
What type of restaurant can an orphan not go to? A family diner.
Why is the pizza place busy? Because it’s pizza day! 😂
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to KFC.
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!