Bus jokes
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
What's big and yellow...?
A bus full of kids.
In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."
Why isn't the athlete in the full bus? Because she is trying to fit in.
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
Your mum is so fat, I had to take 2 buses and a train to get to her good side.
What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?
Your bus is so short... the wheels touch.
"What bus?"