Bus jokes
What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.
Why can't orphans go on school field trips? Parent Signature: _______
What brings kids to school every day?
A school bus 🚌.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
Bus driver: Please give your seat to the white person.
Rosa Parks: Ok.
Why did the rapper take the bus to the studio?
Because their car ran out of RHYME.
Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!
Richard: What????
Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."
Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.
Rick: Oh I will.
*It was the day March 21st*
*9 Days later*
*March 31st*
Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man
*one day later*
*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*
Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up
BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS
*Richard*
*oh he's the dumbass*
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?
Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.
Why couldn’t Billy go to school today?
The bus driver hit Sally.
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
When I walk to school, I fart.