Bus jokes
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.
If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
Why did the rapper take the bus to the studio?
Because their car ran out of RHYME.
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?
Friend: No?
Person: Exactly.
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.