Burial jokes
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me, I can't remember where I buried them.
I was digging in my backyard and found a chest of coins. I wanted to run inside and tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging in the backyard.
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
The cemetery is so overcrowded.
People are just dying to get in.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"