New Burial Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

I will always remember my uncle's last words, "What's the shovel for?"

Why are there gates on a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get inside. Lol

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.

I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?

When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.

An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?

Nothing, he was dead.

Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?

No funeral costs.

If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.

A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"

I answered, "6 feet underground."

I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!

I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.

What’s the difference between a living and dead person?

I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.

How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.

There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.

It crashed in a cemetery.

They recovered 500 bodies.

So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."