If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"
I answered, "6 feet underground."
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
What’s the difference between a living and dead person?
I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.
How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."
Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.
Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
